Photographic evidence.

My daughter pronounced us the "second scariest house in town. High praise, indeed.

Imagine, if you will...It's an hour after sundown. A country road not wide or well-traveled enough to deserve a yellow line down its center. A house set back a ways from this road, the front yard shaded by big maple and birch trees still in full -- if colorful -- leaf due to the unseasonably warm autumn weather. Hear the breeze as it rustles these leaves and beneath it, hear the strains of eerie music -- the soundtracks from the movies HALLOWEEN, POLTERGIEST, and THE OMEN -- wafting from somewhere unseen.

We don't get tons of trick-or-treaters. A good Halloween -- good weather, on a weekend -- might bring a hundred. Last night, despite the warm breezes, we had only fifty or possibly fewer because it was a school night. But we tried hard to entertain the ones who did venture out.


















I especially enjoy trying to terrify the over-10 set, who often treat the entire Halloween enterprise as one big joke. If I can get a few to jump, maybe let loose with a nervous laugh, I'm happy.






The graveyard and the other creepy decorations are more for the little kids. It's enough to make them slow their headlong rush down the driveway towards the candy. I try not to make them cry if I can help it.

Sometimes I can't.


This year, the big-ticket purchase was a strobe light, and that's not saying much as I picked it up at Spencer's for less than twenty bucks. Everything else, which the exception of some new burlap and bloodstained bandages, came from the Halloween treasure-trove I've been collecting for the past 15 years or so.

The flashing from the strobe helped distract the "audience" from the main event...
Ah, the sweet sound of pubescent laughter giving way to shouts and shrieks as I stagger out of the trees, shambling and weaving across the yard with a bucket of candy in one hand and the other outstretched in what can only be described as a threatening manner.

Pants: $24 at Old Navy, three years ago
Turtleneck: $0 (found it in my husband's closet)
Jacket: $0 (see above)
Mask: $1.99 at Spencer's last year
Hat: $14.99, also Spencer's last year
Scaring the living CRAP outta the snarky fifteen-year-old prima donna who lives down the street?

Yeah. Priceless.

SelahMarch.com - Romance of Dubious Virtue