Google THIS.

So PBW wants to know who my dream publicist would be (check comments here for full conversation on topic). You know...in the unlikely case that I'll ever need a publicist at all.

Tom Welling or Josh Holloway? Tom Colicchio or Michael Kors? (Barb suggests Jensen Ackles, but that would never work. Brain-melting lust is detrimental to a solid working relationship. Plus I'd asphyxiate myself by feeling compelled to keep my little Buddha-belly sucked back against my tailbone at all times while in his presence. Blue-in-the-face STILL isn't a good look for me.)

Any publicist of mine would need nerves of steel, a strong stomach, and the ability to chuckle through all manner of adversity. And he or she would have to find a way to impart a little class to this operation. Not an easy mission when the following Google search terms lead straight to my door:

"smut writers" - (You rang? And hey…top of the page! Mom would be so proud.)

"high school stereotypes" - (Started out as The Brain. Ended up as The Slut. Shit happens.)

"three holes, no waiting" - (Not yet, but I'm not ruling it out. In my FICTION, people. Jeez.)

"does anal sex sell at ellora's cave" - (You bet your seven-speed vibrating butt-plug it does, darlin'.)

I dunno why, but when I try to envision my perfect publicist, I hear this voice in my head: "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

Hmm. Smart, loyal, brave, good with a weapon, not afraid to get down and dirty when the circumstance calls for it.

Yeah. He'll do.

SelahMarch.com - Romance of Dubious Virtue

Humpity.

The inflatable mattresses are stored away, the refrigerator is empty of leftovers, the turkey carcass has been used to make soup, and the Christmas lights are lying in a huge tangle on the living room carpet, waiting to be hung.

But Kate? She wants me to blog. With nothing to say that's even a little bit interesting, I'll have to resort to tossing out tidbits I've found elsewhere.

The ever-brilliant and stylish Barbara Caridad Ferrer's been buying vintage fashion again, and making me feel like a schlub in my jeans and sneakers. Nothing new there.

Cindy Cruciger's posted the first chapter of a new work: SNARK.

Mrs. Giggles is wise and wonderful (and makes a few of us feel QUITE vindicated) on the subject of romance bloggers trolling for drama.

And PBW shames the slacker in me with her essay on Necessity versus Creativity.

Something interesting better happen around here pretty damned soon, or I'll be reduced to chatting about my upcoming mammogram, and nobody wants THAT.

SelahMarch.com - Romance of Dubious Virtue

A 22-caliber kind of post.

Bullet points. Because I'm just THAT lazy.


~Wicked late on this, but my fabulously brilliant and ever-stylish crit partner, Barbara Caridad Ferrer, has been quoted in the New York Times regarding the dress she wore whilst winning a 2007 RITA.


~During Creation Con in Chicago last weekend, SUPERNATURAL actors Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki received a presentation and gifts from the US military in recognition of the first and second seasons of their show being the #1-requested DVDs by soldiers serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. If you're not watching this show? You should be. Here's a link to a video of the presentation. It's very moving, IMHO.


~I'm reading REJECTION, ROMANCE AND ROYALTIES: THE WACKY WORLD OF A WORKING WRITER by Laura Resnick, also known as Laura Leone. For an honest and frequently funny look at what it's like to try to make a living as a genre fiction writer, I can't recommend this book highly enough. A quote on the topic of reviews and reviewers that I found particularly apt:

"Art is subjective; therefore, of course, opinions about a novel will always be varied, and often even conflicting. I certainly don't enjoy bad reviews, but I accept that disliking my work is a perfectly fair and valid response when reviewing it.

However, when reviewers get absorbed in their own speculative theories, make inaccurate accusations, are deliberately cruel, or get inappropriately personal, many writers -- understandably -- get annoyed.

...Overall, the conclusion I've come to over the years is that nasty and sloppy book reviewers would probably go about their work very differently if they were the victims of the sort of careless, ignorant, scathing public commentary that we must regularly endure as novelists. Since that's not likely to happen soon, however, I continue to follow advice than an acting teacher of mine, years ago, attributed to Sir Laurence Olivier: 'If the reviews are bad, you can't believe them. If the reviews are good, you can't believe them. Your job is just to go out there and do your very best work every show, eight shows per week.'"


~That said? I'm choosing to believe the following review of my novella "Hardcore," (part of the Phaze FANTASIES III anthology) by Ryes at Rainbow Reviews:

"The plot never slows down, and the interaction between Jesse and Sean is great to watch. This is March's first foray into gay romance and I'm impressed at her characterizations. Sex scenes were beyond hot and tastefully done, with just the right bit of kink. They were also free of trite expressions.

'Hardcore' is a great read and I look forward to more from the author."

~I'm hosting Thanksgiving this year for the clan, so if I show up here or anywhere else online in the next five days, please beat me about the head and shoulders with a frozen drumstick and tell me to get back in the kitchen where I belong, 'k?

Have a happy. :)

SelahMarch.com - Romance of Dubious Virtue

New Release: SEVEN YEAR ACHE

My husband took one look at this cover, made an undignified squawking sound and fled the room.

Me? I'm particularly fond of the treasure-trail-in-silhouette aspect, as well as the nicely-defined flank region.

So...it's out. Part of the "You Make Me Live" AmberPax collection, the theme of which is "manlove amongst bestest-friends-forever."

This particular story involves an M/M/F ménage à trois of sorts. See, while the primary relationship is between...oh hell. If you've read this far and still give a high-howdy-do, just go buy the thing.

Yeah, this self-promo thing is really starting to come naturally to me now...

TITLE: SEVEN YEAR ACHE, part of the "You Make Me Live" Allure AmberPax
AUTHOR: Selah March
GENRE: Contemporary Western/Menage (M/M/F)
PUBLISHER: AmberAllure/Amber Quill Press
ISBN-13: 978-1-60272-153-1 (Electronic)

Take one bitter, unforgiving Montana rancher. Add a washed-up country music one-hit-wonder afflicted with low self-esteem. Mix in a ranch cook with a painful secret in her past. Bake in the hot August sun until steamy. Will serve three.

SelahMarch.com - Romance of Dubious Virtue

'Atta boy, Clarence

"She'd better keep her mouth shut or her sales will drop and her career will be in the toilet."

That's me paraphrasing something I keep reading over and over and over in various places using various sorts of language. But the thing is? In my case? Not so much, really.

I can't speak for anyone else, but every time I let myself be weak and participate in a little Romancelandia free-for-all, my Fictionwise sales spike. This year's post-RWA conference Battle of the Bloggers saw a rise of between 5% and 10% in sales of my work there. Which really? Isn't saying much, because I'm hardly a bestseller on my finest day. But it does seem to point to the above statement being a crock of the ripest kind of bullshit.

So. I will continue to try to avoid this painful, pointless nonsense when I can, but not because I fear for my career. You know, every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings...

In other news, the countdown to the end of the first round of the Brava novella contest has begun. I'm trying to be very Zen about the whole thing. I'm failing. Hold me.

SelahMarch.com - Romance of Dubious Virtue

Just when you thought it was safe to get back in the water...

A quote from a famously long-winded commenter on a busy-as-a-bee romance review blog (to which I will not link because that might besmirch its pristine rep, and we can't have that, can we?) :

"So now I start wondering things like: where does Caridad Ferrer stand in all of this? Her blog is linked on Ferfe's page and she's March's friend. I have several question marks like that, around authors and bloggers who haven't ever publicly indicated that they're not on board with the mudfest. Not that any of those authors or bloggers may care one whit, but I can't imagine I'm the only one asking those questions."

I'll answer that question with a question: So now busy authors juggling multiple professional commitments are required to keep abreast of blog-wars in which they have no interest AND make sure all bloggers linking to them are on the politically correct side of any controversy?

SERIOUSLY?? Dude.

Get. A. Life.

Buy one if you have to. Put it on freakin' lay-a-way for the holidays. Anyone with that many "question marks" around the idea that an award-winning author doesn't have better things to do with her time is in serious need of a hobby.

A note to all authors in my sidebar: that target on your back just got bigger. Want me to de-link? Drop me a note, no hard feelings. It's Amnesty Day here at Dubious Virtue, in honor of folks with too much time on their hands and not near enough common sense.

SelahMarch.com - Romance of Dubious Virtue

Oh, good.

She's back.

SelahMarch.com - Romance of Dubious Virtue

PIMPAGE: "Desperate Measures" by Eva Gale

BRAND NEW RELEASE FROM PHAZE.

TITLE: "Desperate Measures"
AUTHOR: Eva Gale
PUBLISHER: Phaze
GENRE: erotic historical romance
BUY IT HERE.









"There was a time in Dorthea Grady's life when she remembers being content. But when her husband died, she learned it was an illusion. Seamus O'Conner was, at best, a pornographer. But when a widow walks into his studio he rediscovers the art in his profession. When two lost souls are brought together by Desperate Measures, the last thing they expect to find is love."

What reviewers say about Eva Gale:
"Ms. Gale pens a fantastic plot, some incredible writing and explosive heat that captivates."
Linda L. for The Romance Studio

SelahMarch.com - Romance of Dubious Virtue

Photographic evidence.

My daughter pronounced us the "second scariest house in town. High praise, indeed.

Imagine, if you will...It's an hour after sundown. A country road not wide or well-traveled enough to deserve a yellow line down its center. A house set back a ways from this road, the front yard shaded by big maple and birch trees still in full -- if colorful -- leaf due to the unseasonably warm autumn weather. Hear the breeze as it rustles these leaves and beneath it, hear the strains of eerie music -- the soundtracks from the movies HALLOWEEN, POLTERGIEST, and THE OMEN -- wafting from somewhere unseen.

We don't get tons of trick-or-treaters. A good Halloween -- good weather, on a weekend -- might bring a hundred. Last night, despite the warm breezes, we had only fifty or possibly fewer because it was a school night. But we tried hard to entertain the ones who did venture out.


















I especially enjoy trying to terrify the over-10 set, who often treat the entire Halloween enterprise as one big joke. If I can get a few to jump, maybe let loose with a nervous laugh, I'm happy.






The graveyard and the other creepy decorations are more for the little kids. It's enough to make them slow their headlong rush down the driveway towards the candy. I try not to make them cry if I can help it.

Sometimes I can't.


This year, the big-ticket purchase was a strobe light, and that's not saying much as I picked it up at Spencer's for less than twenty bucks. Everything else, which the exception of some new burlap and bloodstained bandages, came from the Halloween treasure-trove I've been collecting for the past 15 years or so.

The flashing from the strobe helped distract the "audience" from the main event...
Ah, the sweet sound of pubescent laughter giving way to shouts and shrieks as I stagger out of the trees, shambling and weaving across the yard with a bucket of candy in one hand and the other outstretched in what can only be described as a threatening manner.

Pants: $24 at Old Navy, three years ago
Turtleneck: $0 (found it in my husband's closet)
Jacket: $0 (see above)
Mask: $1.99 at Spencer's last year
Hat: $14.99, also Spencer's last year
Scaring the living CRAP outta the snarky fifteen-year-old prima donna who lives down the street?

Yeah. Priceless.

SelahMarch.com - Romance of Dubious Virtue